Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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