Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
