i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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