dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
