This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
