I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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