at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
