Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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