please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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