Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize