All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
