he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
