Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have fence marks all over my body
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize