College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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