so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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