i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize