This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
