she woke up with a sticky ear
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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