She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
