I can tuck mytits in my pants
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
