Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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