I think i peed on brittanys purse
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
