She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
