I look better un-naked...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
