We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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