Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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