so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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