And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
