She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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