Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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