I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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