I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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