okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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