we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
