if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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