I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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