I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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