dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
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