I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn victory sex feels great
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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