I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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