You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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