ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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