I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
