you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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