Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
