1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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