I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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