can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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