oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
