Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
