I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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