morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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