Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is the high leading the old right now
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
