i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
