I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sober January is a disaster.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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