I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
