Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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