The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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