don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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