you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
