margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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